Empty

Life is short, let us not make it shorter.

My travel to Iloilo reminded me on what really matters in life.

Love and support from friends and family, a lot of food, great laughter and tons of fun memories to remember.

Emptiness

“One man scorned and covered with scars still strove with his last ounce of courage to reach the unreachable stars; and the world was better for this”. – Don Quixote, de la Mancha

When the news broke that a successful businesswoman committed suicide due to depression, I felt numb.

You may have all the money and fame in this world but emptiness creeps in everyday.

A ‘big’ battle not seen by everyone.

Are you thinking, “I feel empty and alone?” Remember that other people are going through the similar emotions that you are struggling with right now.

Here are some tips from BetterHelp.com to keep you on the right track:

How To Set Life Goals That Establish Meaning

An important part of getting your life moving again and finding meaning is setting goals. A lot of the time we flounder and feel lost because we haven’t set goals for what is important to us. Without a plan, we could do nothing. Here are some steps that will move you toward finding your own meaningful goals and accomplishing them.

Feel Your Feelings

Many people who are suffering from emptiness are trying to avoid or disconnect from their feelings. They started feeling nothing because they reached a point at one time where their emotions became overwhelming and caused them anxiety. The first thing you will need to do after acknowledging your emptiness is to start reconnecting with your emotions; allow yourself to feel again. Your feelings may come out inappropriately at first, such as sadness being expressed through anger, and that’s okay. No feelings are wrong or bad, as long as you continue making an effort to recognize them and grow.

Start thinking about how you might feel about your life if it did not feel empty; it’s not a trick. Logically look at your life, since you cannot emotionally respond to it. Do you have an excellent job? Have you spent enough time with your family or friends? Did something happen that you want to forget about? It’s time to look at the various aspects of your life and whether they are related to positive or negative feelings.

Do The Things You Used To Enjoy

Right now, you may not feel like doing your usual hobbies or rituals but do them anyway. This is a part of taking care of yourself. Pay attention to how you feel when you are doing these things. You may be able to connect with some of the joy or peace you used to feel, or you may find that it is time to replace this activity with something else. Either way, doing things that are just for you establish the self-love you need to escape emptiness and find meaning.

Don’t Avoid People

You may not be ready to actively plan a time to hang out with friends or family. But if you get invited somewhere, go ahead and accept the invitation. Isolation will make your emptiness more. Your existing support system cannot support you if you alienate them. If you find yourself spending a majority of your time at home, go somewhere where other people gather. You don’t have to interact with anyone. Just put yourself amongst the crowd, whether that means going out to see a movie or making a trip to the coffee shop.

Make Lists

Start writing down potential goals and divide them into four categories: health, relationships, career, and personal growth. You can write down as many goals as you like. You aren’t going to focus on all of these at once. Some of them may be removed from the list later, but for now, you need to come up with ideas, so don’t be afraid to write down anything that comes to mind.

Once you have several goals under each category, divide those goals into short-term and long-term objectives. Some of the goals will be able to be completed within a few days or weeks; those are short-term goals. Other goals are larger achievements that may take a year or more to accomplish.

Ideally, your short-term goals are moving you closer toward the big long-term goals you have set. For instance, if one of your long-term goals is to become a personal trainer, a short-term goal may be to be able to complete twenty push-ups or to memorize the names of all the major muscles in the human body.

At the top of these lists, write down a simple one-sentence statement about where these goals are taking you. It is the reason why you are working toward them. The goals themselves are steps, but this statement of purpose is the real motivator behind them.

Prioritize

You can only complete so much at once, and having too many goals can overwhelm you to the point that you revert to an old habit of doing nothing about your feeling of emptiness. Now that you have a list of some short-term and long-term goals for the most important aspects of your life choose the top three from each category that is the most important to you right now. Looking at your statement of purpose can help you in narrowing down the top priorities.

Once you have these new shorter lists, you can rank each of the three sets of goals by order of importance. The top-most important goal in each list is your “gold” goal, the next is your “silver” goal, and the third is your “bronze” goal. You can work towards your gold goals pretty much every day, taking small steps toward these meaningful priorities in your life. When you have extra time, you can work towards your silver and bronze goals.

When you achieve a goal, move the others up in priority and add a new goal to the short list. The new goal doesn’t necessarily have to start at bronze level; it’s okay if you change your mind about what is most important at the current moment. Make sure you stick with any goals that have made it to your priority list. The worst thing you can do with goals is to get into a habit of dropping them when they get difficult.

Whenever your emptiness starts to rise and makes you feel like what you’re doing isn’t worthwhile, take out your list of goals. These are your reminders that your life does have a purpose and you do have a sense of direction. If you’re finding it difficult to take steps toward your goals, or you feel stuck, don’t be afraid to reach out for help.