Silang

Are you in a long-distance relationship (LDR)?

I am.

It was never easy.

So every opportunity that my wife and I are together, we spent the most out of it.

One thing that we enjoy doing together are palengke tours.

Palengke Silang

“Falling in love in a Christian way is to say, ‘I am excited about your future and I want to be part of getting you there. I’m signing up for the journey with you. Would you sign up for the journey to my true self with me? It’s going to be hard but I want to get there.” – Tim Keller

During her last vacation, the public market of Silang was our go-to palengke for the best deals in upland Cavite.

Abundance of seafoods, farm-fresh produced, childhood knick knacks and mouth-watering Pinoy delicacies right at your finger tips.

This is just one of the many activities that we enjoy together.

What are your couple goals?

If your marriage is good, these six things can help you grow closer according to iMom.com. If your marriage is so-so or even worse, they could help you give it a push in the right direction towards bonding time with your spouse. This is for the ilaw ng tahanan special note series.

1. Are courteous and kind to each other.
A little kindness goes a long way. Try to treat your husband like he’s a good friend. If you’re rude and snippy to your husband, why will he want to be nice to you?

2. Talk about issues before they get out of hand.
In marriage, you have to choose your battles but, if you sense that an irritation is becoming a major annoyance, you need to talk about it with your husband.

3. Believe in each other.
If you think your husband is a loser, you’re going to treat him that way. Even if he has a track record of business failures or poor decisions, keep your opinion of those outcomes separate from who he is as a person.

4. Assume the best about each other.
Look for the good things about your husband and assume the best in his actions and words. Instead of assuming that he has bad intentions, give him the benefit of the doubt before you jump to conclusions.

5. Live in a “we” world.
Couples who are close use words that show they are set apart. Try to say, “Our bedroom, our house, our children, etc.” Think of you and your husband as a team.

6. Touch.
It sounds corny, but hugs are healthy. So hug your husband when he comes home, instead of just giving him a quick peck on the cheek or lips. Touch his shoulder while he’s driving; hold hands while you pray at church or offer to rub his back.

These are just few tips for the wife but coming from a husband, don’t forget to pray for each other always.

Have a blessed relationship!

Alleluia

Are you living as an Easter people of God or still in Golgotha?

As married couples, there are a lot of practical lessons that we can learn about relationship from the death and resurrection of Christ as shared by Fr. Mark Demanuele, MSSP during the Easter Recollection organized by the The Feast Bay Area Couple’s Ministry.

As a missionary, Fr. Mark shared his journey of challenges as an Easter person.

Easter people of God

The beauty of the cross is in the promise of Easter, where God shows His natures as a redeemer and restorer. If your marriage is in a time of stress and pain, put your hope in the one who sees past the immediate circumstances of your life and into a hopeful and wonderful future. It is very possible that God could use the current difficulty in your marriage to create something even more beautiful and enduring than you could ever imagine. As you celebrate Easter with your family this year, take some time to reflect on the meaning for your marriage. Allow the wonderful and powerful spiritual truths of Easter breathe new life into your relationship, and your bond will be stronger for it.

He pointed everyone to the powerful exhortation of St. John Paul II back in 1986:

“We do not pretend that life is all beauty. We are aware of darkness and sin, of poverty and pain. But we know Jesus has conquered sin and passed through his own pain to the glory of the Resurrection. And we live in the light of his Paschal Mystery – the mystery of his Death and Resurrection. “We are an Easter People and Alleluia is our song!”. We are not looking for a shallow joy but rather a joy that comes from faith, that grows through unselfish love, that respects the “fundamental duty of love of neighbour, without which it would be unbecoming to speak of Joy”. We realize that joy is demanding; it demands unselfishness; it demands a readiness to say with Mary: “Be it done unto me according to thy word”.

In particular if Lent is a time to give things up, Easter ought to be a time to take things up.

If Calvary means putting to death things in your life that need killing off if you are to flourish as a Christian and as a truly human being, then Easter should mean planting, watering, and training up things in your life (personal and corporate) that ought to be blossoming, filling the garden with color and perfume and in due course bearing fruit.

Jesus resurrection is the beginning of God’s new project not to snatch people away from earth to heaven but to colonize earth with the life of heaven.

Characteristics of Easter people as shared by Fr. Mark:

  • Easter people rejoice in Jesus’ death AND resurrection. (Romans 5:10)
  • Easter people preach the resurrection more than one day a year. (Acts 4:2)
  • Easter people long for their resurrection brought by Jesus as much as or if not more so than a temporary bodiless existence in heaven. (1 Corinthians 15; Philippians 3:7-11; Revelation 21)
  • Easter people long to see Jesus restore creation from the curse of decay. (Romans 8 )
  • Easter people speak up at great cost against the ‘principalities and powers’ of this world because Jesus is our risen King and he is king over them all. (Colossians 1:15-20; Hebrews 2:7-9)
  • Easter people are willing to deny themselves and lose all things for the sake of Christ now because Christ, by the power of his resurrection, has promised to restore all things and reward his disciples in the ‘life after the next life’. (Matthew 19:27-28; Mark 10:28-31; Revelation 21:5)

As an “Easter People,” our response to the gift of forgiveness and eternal life compels us to try to live lives that reflect our new status. We are a people forgiven, healed and renewed by Jesus’ Body and Blood, and we are called to share that Good News with the whole world.

Our response can and should be rooted in love. As Jesus himself has told us, love for God and love for our neighbor is the foundation of Christian living. Because God first loved us, loved us so much that we were given God’s only son for our salvation, our response to this love is not only to love God as deeply and fully as we are able, but also to love everyone else as deeply and fully as we love ourselves.

As couples, our relationship with God matters most.

We need to nurture the loving relationship of husbands and wives like how Christ offered His life in the cross.

In this time of violence, strife, argument and disagreement, God continues to call us to love not to hate. God continues to call us to look beyond the immediate to the eternal.

What in a moment of anger or outrage might satisfy our pride is most probably not consistent with the loving future God wants for us.

It is not God who has created the turmoil that surrounds us; it is turmoil of our own making born from our love of self above our love of others.

This Easter, amidst the joy and celebration of our new lives in Christ, let us also celebrate the joy of new life with others.

Let us begin to set aside our pride and petty difference that not only separate us from each other, but also separate us from God.

Let us strive to become an “Easter People” who know and reflect God’s love through our love for one another as equals—equally beloved children of God.

Distance

I’ve been away from my wife for several years and I’ve learned a lot about my relationship.

A long distance relationship is the most difficult test that love can endure.

You need to put in everything you’ve got to hold onto it.

You have to be utterly honest, dedicated and transparent with one another.

You may not share every moment with each other.

You can’t gaze into each other’s eyes and enjoy physical pleasures but the feeling of being in love overcomes the greatest physical distance.

Being in a long distance relationship makes your bond stronger and more resilient because you learn to be committed even when it’s difficult.

But most of all, the love you have for each other will make you strong enough to overcome any obstacles.

Distance

You and I are miles apart at the moment. And most people say that it’s not going to work, but no. That’s not how we see things for us two. We somehow manage to work things out. And those miles apart brought us even closer because we choose to grow together through it all.

To my loving wife and to my long distance relationship partner.

I miss you everyday!

Sometimes, I even wonder how blessed I am to have you and what I have done to deserve someone like you. Maybe it is because we are placed into each others life for a reason and everything seemed just right.

I thank you beyond words for despite of the distance that separates us you always believe in me when I didn’t believe in myself, always knowing how to put a smile on my face, encouraging me to be my best and most of all for not giving up on me.

Though I long for the times that you’re here beside me and wish I could be there with you each day, I knew, deep in my heart that one day we can permanently be together. I may see you less for now but every moment I get to see you after our time apart my heart is always filled with happiness and love which prevails how our long distance relationship is worth it.

It will never be easy. But I’ll stand by you and I knew for a certain that miles and oceans doesn’t matter for as long as we share the same sky and breathe the same air, we’re still together. Heart remains inseparable. I love you so much ❤

To my dear reader, I would like to share this snippets of wisdom about marriage and relationship:

Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.

Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your marriage.

Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.

In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!

Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got!

Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.

Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!

Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.

Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.

Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.

When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”

Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important that your schedule.

Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.

Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone Else. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!

Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.

Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits!

Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.

Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.

When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time!

Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.